from blocks to socks

Christmas.... a time thats filled with joy, innocence, presents, surprises, disappointments and many other mixed feelings, but what does it turn into as you grow older.  I remember the days when Christmas used to be staying up as late as your eyes would let you, hoping to catch a glimpse of a whimsical man in a large velvet suit that had a huge sweet tooth and could make all of your dreams come true.  When your a little kid, the feeling of shooting out of bed like a bullet and to your parents door and knocking to the point your knuckles may bleed, hoping they get up to let you get at your presents is everything you live for.  I mean forget the Christmas stories or going to grandpas for dinner, the one day in the whole month of December that you live for is the twenty-fifth.  When i was a little kid Christmas went something like this for me, decorate the tree, ugh, eat a grandpas ugh, sing songs, ugh, open presents....... JACKPOT!  I used to be pumped when Christmas came knocking on my door, i knew that if i made it through all of the rituals and ancient stories i could get the one thing any kid cares about, the presents. These kind of days are gone, now when Christmas comes around i think of no school, getting to see family, still the presents, and the fun times with family and friends.  The main things that have changed from how I celebrated Christmas as a kid to as a young adult is, there are no more cookies for Santa, no more carrots for Rudolph, and all traces that the large man in a red velvet suit breaking and entering disapear.

Family Anecdote

          A couple of years back i went to visit my family in Indiana. When we went to ask my cousin if he wanted to go he was as excited as a puppy with a new toy and quickly said yes. The time came for us to leave for Indiana beach and we packed up with enough food to feed to feed an army and enough fishing polls to fish the river dry. After a long 4 hours drive which can be worse then weeding when its through the vast Indiana country side, we arrived at the campground.  The rest of that day and night was spent resting up for the next day which would prove to be quite an interesting day.  The next morning we were up earlier then the birds and were prepared for a wonderful day of bountiful fishing.  After a long time of debating where to go fishing my grandpa set on a spot he thought would be okay.  The actual fishing only lasted for an hour, and speaking of fishing which involves water, my grandpa cusses like a sailor and even worse when provoked to do so.  Now let me provide some play by play for the following event, and Vuurman (my cousins last name) is back building up enough energy to strike like a cobra  with his rod and now the toss........ oh no, what is this, it appears as though a large tree has sprung up out of no where and is on course to intercept this toss, oh my. This cannot end good folks. End good it didn't for my grandpa is not one for removing half of a fishing rod from trees and remember how i mentioned the cursing like a sailor well this happened to be activated as well, he was as mad as a hornet that just got its nest destroyed. With my cousin standing by cowering from my grandpas sight and my grandpa removing the rod from the tree, we learned something, when your fishing make sure your not the one getting caught.

Think before you speak

"Hey Alex, do you think you could clean the house today before you go anywhere." Said my mom

its the day after i just got out of school, has she lost her mind.

"oh sure mom, i'll get on that right away." i said joyfully

"And since your already going to be cleaning do you think you could maybe change your sheets and make sure to unload the dishwasher."

Okay, now i know for sure, she has lost her mind, oh jeeh mom would you like to maybe go to work for an extra 5 hours or maybe live in Soviet Russia for a while.

"yeah sure why not, im already going to be busy working." I said
 
 how wonderful.... the day after school ends and the drudgery has already begun.... whats next in store.

"Hey mom is there any thing else you want me to do i asked.?"

Now what did i get my self into???

Creative Cuplets

I think that lab
is eating a crab

When writing beats
write them on you sheets

If your being cool
then be sure not to drool

If your working with glue
don't let your fingers turn blue

When you try to fly
be sure not to die

Alex's guide to teachers

The old history teacher: She is as old as the history she teaches and has first hand accounts of what happened. They are usually blind as bats and very mean. They cant hear what our asking them unless your screaming and they are always super grouchy.


The new teacher: Shes fresh out  of college and doesn't know the horrors of teaching yet. They are usually happy at all times and actually care about the kids. They aren't incredibly skilled and really don't scold kids but don't you worry, they'll get there.


The awesome teacher: Getting this teacher is like getting a needle in a hay stack, they are impossible to find. They are really cool to the kids and laid back, they don't give too much homework, but still make you do work.


The quiet one: This teacher never talks except to give instructions or what workbook pages to do, shouldn't be considered a teacher but maybe more a tree stump. They are known to sit back at there desk and let the kids do as they please. For your own sake though, don't waste time trying to ask the answers, they don't really know the answer.  


The hippie: This teacher could care less what kids are doing, as long as they have there time to discuss the environment they're happy. They don't really believe in giving kids work and there class is just a long period to doze off. They are usually liked and are pretty cool.

Stupendous Similes

Yesterday morning i woke up to the sound of my alarm thats as loud as freeway traffic in L.A. I took a stab at my alarm clock like a king cobra and went back to bed, hoping to catch a couple winks of sleep. When i woke up, i  found i had over sleep. I quickly sprung out of bed like a giant tree frog and began my dash to get ready. I then hoped into the shower in a flying fury of soap and shampoo. I finally got out and put my clothes on and ran to the kitchen faster then a formula 1 driver. I was able to finish my cereal in time but had no idea where my key was. I then tore through the house like a violent tornado looking for that key. I finally gave up for i had two minutes to get to my bus stop and asked my mom for her key, she was mad as an agitated lion but i had no choice. I then got outside and saw that the gigantic bus looking like a large banana was at the stop. I then took off running like a cheetah after an easy pray, praying i wouldn't miss the bus. I then stepped foot onto the gigantic inviting machine and was off to school.

How to spot serial killers

• They are often isolated in a corner talking to them self.
• Also know to walk around muttering "die die die die."
• Not very social and are definitely not people persons.
• They often enjoy doing just flat out demonic twisted things to animals for fun.
• They are lastly, always looking over there shoulder and are very jumpy, almost as if they have something to hide and if you find someone that fits this description, they just might.